First, let me say, I do not typically do reviews. It isn't that I don't have an opinion, I do, but reviews just aren't my cup of coffee.
(I'll tell anyone who asks my opinion but I know my strong points and reviews are not among them.)
That being said, I have strong feelings about Fifty Shades of Grey the series, the BDSM life/life style and ultimately, I have them about the movie.
I was on the Charlie Hunnam bandwagon, I felt a character who is castrated the way Christian Grey is by Ana should be played by an actor who is proven to have some balls (no such luck.)
Christian...Almost Makes Me Want to Change Religions
So, I was never completely on board with this Jamie Dornan guy to begin with. When I read of his little remark about wanting to be entertained while watching people do a real life BDSM scene it made me step away from the platform even further.
(Real life scenes, although entertaining to some, serve a much higher purpose to the participants than a strip show/male review.)
This brings me to the actual movie. I didn't hate it.
(But if this is how my favorite of the three books materialized, I doubt I'll somehow love the other two movies more.)
Anyway, the Jamie Dornan train--I wasn't on board, stepped away from the platform and now I completely left the station on this guy. Generally I wouldn't remark on looks, but, considering the subject matter, looks
are sort of important.
I could've lived with his cold, almost robot like presence--I've met dominant males with those characteristics and they aren't without some sort of charm and sex appeal. I just couldn't get past his eyes. To me, the eyes are very important, in a dominant
(to me) even more so. One of his eyes is bigger than the other and it was hard not to look
.
(This does lead me to wonder about the robotic personality and consider he could be a Cyborg.)
I also had a difficult time getting past his lame hair style.
(That is all.)
Lastly, and this one is almost as important as the eyes--and
if he's actually speaking it takes the lead--his facial expressions when he talks aggravated the hell out of me! There was just nothing sexy about his mouth, and worse, he had micro-movements around his lips that distracted me from hearing what he had to say.
If he just sat there, in some of the more casual attire and looked straight to the camera (like before he spoke when he walked into the hardware store) he could be sorta schmexy-ISH. When it was simply his profile and a wider angled shot--there could be deliciousness (like when he crawled up to her on the bed the first time.) But, since it was a whole movie with dialogue and multiple camera angles--he was not the best choice to cast.
(This thinking reminded me of the 1970s movie "Looker" because as soon as he moved or talked his hotness dropped to arctic iciness.)
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With the fluff out of the way
(I can have dessert first if I choose) it's on to the meat and potatoes of the movie.
BDSM Rant and Roll
I've been conflicted about
this series from the start (clearly to anyone who knows me or has read
things I've said in regard to it.) It's a love/loathe relationship
(which fits the Boderline Personality Disorder both characters seem to
possess.)
I'm vocal that I can't stand the Ana character--I've wanted to smack her since I read.
(Dakota Johnson did a much less annoying version on screen--I actually liked the way she portrayed the character.) Recently I've come to realize, it
is
their relationship and something like this could very well happen (to
some degree.) We're all different colors, shades, textures and hues of
flawed so why not?
What gets my cage rockin' is not
the story of the characters, but that the media (and thus merchandising
people) have painted this as
THE SHADE of BDSM. It may be
a shade of someone's BDSM experience but its just a shame this one got the attention it has.
It (FSOG) seemed on a mission to save
the poor, broken dominant from his life of torment and self loathing.
Yet its spawned a vast amount of curiosity seekers who are buying tons
of sex toys--attempting to endorse the life Ana castrated (saved) poor
Christian from. (Ironic?)
I considered these things while I watched, critiqued and wished (tried to picture) Jax in the leading role.
One
part rattled my chain more than others--the last spanking scene. It had
nothing to do with my distaste for the actor, it wasn't shot poorly--it
just wasn't written in any healthy way (but then it would've gone
against the initial, obvious mission statement.)
Christian
allowed himself to be goaded into
losing self control. He was
manipulated by Ana to take her into the RRofP and show her the worst (which is off, but she is a novice.) I
know he's supposed to be human (or robot or cyborg) but a dominant with
so much experience would have to be in control of himself and not let
the sub twist him that way. (Dom card-suspended--Christian is in
time-out!)
Then, to top the scene off--she counts the
lashes and cries her tears without a single safe-word used (no yellow,
red, orange or tangerine.) But gets angry at him--yells and storms
off--when he did what she manipulated him into doing to begin with.
This pissed me off in the book and more on screen. (I
enjoyed the first book but when I watched it there were things that
stood out more on the big screen than they did when I read.)
Some of it was steamy, some rang true to things I've seen or experienced. There were parts that were healthier than others (which is what kept me reading and ultimately watching.)
There was no rape--but he did have a stalker quality that I wasn't totally put off by. If the contract was such a big deal he could've waited for then to stalk her (then it would've possibly been consensual and part of the deal.) But to wait, he'd first have to learn some self-control--which it seems she's made him throw from the window of the train.
Editing
I think the editing deserves a big hand for the way they cut the sex scenes together, showing just enough without crossing over. I was actually sort of impressed with this part.
They lost me on one part--not sure if something was cut and left on the floor in the Red Room of Pain or what.
The part directly after they played the first time--she was in bed alone and I was annoyed with his lack of aftercare. He came up, kissed her and BAMM next thing she's coming downstairs, dressed and they're going to his parents' house for dinner.
(In fairness, maybe I dozed for a moment? Nah, I doubt it!)
I'll be hard pressed to see the others if he is still playing Christian Grey, the story annoys me as it unfolds and I just don't know if I could sit through it and him for those. (Morbid curiosity may get the better of me.)
I know it sound like I hated it--but I really didn't. Some was really hot--and both characters have some redeeming qualities. I just wish E.L. James had picked a different lifestyle to know nothing about before writing a novel--then maybe it would've been a good story with fucked up characters I/we could feel something for.
I'll quickly site "Secretary" as a better example. E. Edward Grey was conflicted, tormented about his proclivities. Lee was a tortured soul who cut and was completely socially awkward. He pushed her away because of his disgust for his own needs but ultimately, they saved each other. (I still cry every time I watch the ending parts.)
Even now, watching Blacklist I get misty. I know
the original Mr. Grey was once alive and well in Raymond "Red" Reddington.
I guess there are many colors to paint our world--these are only two possibilities.
Wet Whips & Kisses,
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Every rose has its thorn in this passioante, BDSM romance!