Mmmmm Subspace

I noticed while reading reviews that I should continue with a series of posts I’d begun some time ago. I began with my thoughts on the use of safe-words and my choice of vocabulary—submissive vs. slave etc. 

The intention was to write about consent, and consensual non-consent. Then, life and writing the series Not Even Death sort of got in the way of my best laid plans (okay, maybe the path wasn’t paved completely!) Since reading the reviews I’m doubling back to my course and thought it could be beneficial to address some things.

My work—most likely all of it—will involve a Master/slave relationship dynamic. There may be apprehension in some of the characters at different points. They may begin submissive and ultimately freely choose to become slaves (and dominants, at the end of the day, will become Masters)—all  under the leathery warmth of the M/s umbrella.

* Note: The strength to opt to submit to someone completely is not for the weak. The women I write are strong to start but find a quiet, gentle strength in submission. They also find peace and freedom by letting go. Dominants don't always embrace their role either, and trusting their submissive is paramount!

With that all said, my stories are NOT “Fifty-Shades of Grey.” No one will be saved from the BDSM life. The men will all have their balls firmly attached by the end—and not in the woman’s jewelry box. 

They are written to show the reality of what an actual (I won’t say 'twue.' Lifestylers will understand this) Master/slave relationship can look like. 

To some, it will be beautiful. To others, it may seem uncomfortable and yet…intriguing. Others may find they like their bread buttered differently—and that’s perfectly fine.

I’ve mentioned before, I paint when I write—choosing the colors that make up the scenes in my mind. I’ve also recently been told that my writing is lyrical—like a song without music (I enjoyed this one of course!) Music inspires me and when I paint/write I try to pick familiar hues to describe unfamiliar things. One of those things is my description of subspace in NotEven Death #2-Still Your Master.

•  …like a distant dream. The endorphins bouncing from synapse to synapse diffused her senses—everything was a singular euphoria. She imagined light around her—illuminating—rising in a ball around the cage.

•   Her mind was in a twinkling sea of warm luminosity—thoughts came in quick glints and gleams. Oh how I missed this place…I’m finally home again.

•   She hovered above the scene—flying—in space.

•  Her voice sounded slow—like begging through marshmallow. 

           "Come baby.” His voice managed to slice through the thick fluff and then she was gone again.

•  With each pulsation the endorphins spread rapidly, like a warm anesthesia overcoming her with peace.

•   In a blissful sphere, floating safely—she welcomed it all.

These are some of my descriptions for subspace. Whether it be a runner’s high—a really drunken night—being put under anesthesia or the heavenly intensity of a great orgasm, most of us have experienced something comparable and can relate to at least one of the descriptors (or would want to.)

When it’s something shared with a trusted partner it becomes all the more beautiful.

Reaching subspace takes skill on the part of the dominant partner. It would be foolish to ride on the back of someone’s motorcycle if they’d never ridden before and the same goes with subspace. If you’re starting new with your partner and are novices it may take time to reach space and to learn how to play safely (but there are many local communities with work-shops for this purpose.)

Subspace can also have its drawbacks and aftercare is important. Proper hydration, replenishing carbs and some TLC are part of this. Some (not all) may experience "sub-drop" or "dom-drop" in the days that follow such a high/expenditure of energy (I may touch on all three topics in depth at some point later.)

Another lingering effect—my personal favorite—is what I’ve always termed “slave space.” This, to me, is much better than the high. This is one point where I prefer the hang-over effect to the high itself.

Slave-space to me is a centering experience. Resistance falls away—light bulb moments about your service may abound—it’s like walking on fluffy clouds, the warm coziness of Christmas in your heart and mind (without the big bills!) This mind/heart set is what enables my characters to feel the freedom to obey and experience life to the fullest.

In conclusion:

My goal when I write  is to show the transformation of the heroine—through love and submission to the hero, but also to her own true nature.

To give a glimpse of things unfamiliar in a way that’s understandable for newbies.

And for those in the lifestyle to have “Ooooo I remember that!” moments.

More on the topic of consent later (you can see it in this linked blog post to some extent.) I do make it crystal clear that my characters are open to each and every thing they engage in—they want it, crave it and would rather crawl into the nearest cave without it!

~B.B.

Vocabulary list to follow. I'm also working on some stuff for book club discussions and will add them when the series is complete.

My #writingprocessblogtour (Welcome to the Chaos)

#writingprocessblogtour

Thank you Reed James for inviting me to do this blog tour. I said yes because Reed is a cool guy, prolific author of steamy erotica and just a blast to hang out with on Twitter.
That being said, I know my process is weird (putting it mildly) but I wanted to do it anyway! Thank you Reed! (Have I told you lately--YOU ROCK!)

Later, I'll be posting my interview with Reed.




What am I working on? 
I’m currently working on the follow up to Not Even Death Eternally Your Master. The second installment in this novella series will be Not Even Death Still Your Master. It will be released Tuesday 09-09-2014, first on Amazon and then other places.


I could describe the series as “Fifty Shades of Grey” meets “P.S. I Love You” but, it’s more “lifestyle” accurate than FSOG.

It begins with the death of Calico’s master, Markus, and goes through the path he prepared to help her continue to the next phase of life. The romance is truly between Markus and Calico. The erotica is with Calico and each “suitor” Markus enlists to help him. Each book is a lesson in her journey, like “Maslow’s Hiearchy of Needs”, each lesson bringing her closer to self actualization/true-happily ever after love. By the end of book four, Forever Your Master, the romance will shift from Markus & Calico, to Calico and “Mr. The One.”

The third installment should be available by Halloween, and will be entitled Always Your Master.The fourth and final novella, Forever Your Master is slated to be released in December—it will have a Christmas theme.

I’m also editing “Golden Doll”, the first of the Angel to Butterfly series of novels. This is where my heart is. I’ll explain more about this one as it nears release. In short, it’s a beautiful story about the transforming power of love—through and because of—submission and surrender to love.








How does my work differ from others of its genre?

The Not Even Death series differs from the erotic romance formula in a few ways. 
First, it has a bittersweet undercurrent since it begins a month after the hero’s funeral. It breaks quite a few hard and fast rules of romance, which is why I opted to self-publish. I want to feel, think and be taken through those emotions when I read.

How much more romantic can you get—than to have your husband/Master/love continue to guide you past death—because he loves you that much?

Secondly, she doesn’t have a HEA in each story. Each novella is a step--each Master/Dominant, a stepping stone, a lesson--leading to her ultimate HEA. With each she is happier for now.

Another difference in my work is that I will make every attempt to be “lifestyle accurate”. Sometimes the little nuances are the most profound. Everything I’ve written thus far (WIP included) could be re-read by the reader, with new understanding. Things that might seem insignificant may actually be very important.

These nuances may be overlooked initially, but will also show vanilla (non-lifestyle) readers that there is more to BDSM than whips, chains and (eek) handcuffs. Those are toys, they're the dessert--trust is the meat and potatoes.

Why do I write what I do?

This is a loaded question.

It was sort of a gauntlet laid out to me when I read FSOG. I knew it missed the mark. Psychologically and regarding the actual BDSM lifestyle, it was inaccurate in so many ways. I decided to write something different. This began the writing of “Golden Doll” and it snowballed from there.

To expound on the above just a bit, I’ll say this, the concept of the MC saving him from the BDSM world rubbed me the wrong way. Like a cat, being pet backward—I wanted to bite—“Golden Doll” is that bite.

I love the psychological aspect of the BDSM world, and the possibility for great transformation on the part of the dominant partner as well as the submissive.

When love helps you find, “I love you—because of who you are—not in spite of it”. When you find the other piece of your own personal puzzle you don't need to save the other from them self, rather you save each other by fostering the growth of the true self.

* I believe in this in BDSM and vanilla relationships alike.

How does my writing process work?

THE big question! (LOL)

As I’ve mentioned before in respect to this. My process is chaos.

In attempt to not be redundant, I’ll mention other parts of my process, or elaborate on things I may have skimmed over previously.

Music plays such a huge part in my process. Just sitting outside this morning, listening to music and drinking coffee, I was drawn more deeply into Calico and Markus by a song. The next one that came on took me to other characters I’ve only mentally outlined. Like a portal in time, place and feeling—music helps it all manifest.

I will also sometimes sit and observe. I did this for a future work earlier this summer. I spent a day in the country and woke up early specifically to immerse myself in everything. I narrated it all—smells, feelings, sights—into my phone. These will figure deeply into painting the landscape, the tapestry of that couple’s world.

Sometimes in the shower, or laying down to sleep at night—when things are the most peaceful in my mind—I’ll see the vision so clearly—and say it into my phone.

As you can see, my phone is super important in my process. I couldn’t edit without it. I speak the entire story into my phone and listen—repeatedly. I listen for flow, word redundancy, and character development. This is how I edit.

If I can’t “see it” then I rework it. If a character’s voice comes out of my mouth while I read, I use that extra added detail to assist the way I write them.

I always ask everyone I know who reads me—“Could you see it?”—if they couldn’t, then I’d polish it some more. So far, they all seem to “see” what I create.

I hand write, speak and eventually type everything out. I then listen to the music and the story. I choose almost every word with intention—to paint with the exact hue of the color—with the proper strokes—I want the reader to see.

In my process, I shop for my colors—instead of shopping at Lowe’s or Michael’s—I shop in the world. I make my own paint, mixed with my own experience—the music—with all my senses I absorb my surroundings and stir with dreams and imagination.

To keep the blog tour rolling I tagged another of the Naughty Misfits Twitter crew, The Official Anthony Beal! His answers will be up at his blog next week.

While you're hopping around the internet check out both of these fantastic erotica authors.

Reed James

Reed James is a thirty year-old guy living in Tacoma, WA. "I love to write, I find it freeing to immerse myself in a world and tell its stories and then share them with others." He's been writing naughty stories since high school, furiously polishing his craft, and finally feels ready to share his fantasies with the world.
"I love writing about women who want to be a little (or a lot) naughty, people expressing their love for each other as physically and kinkily as possible, and women loving other women. Whether it's a virgin experiencing her/his first time or a long-term couple exploring the bounds of their relationships, it will be a hot, erotic story!"
For his day job Reed drives a paratransit shuttle, helping the disabled and senior citizens get around town. "It can be both a rewarding and stressful job in turns. And sometimes sad."
So check out his works, the Naughty Wives Series and Seducing Straight Women series and the erotic-supernatural thriller My Fallen Angel.

Amazon  Blog Twitter

 

Anthony Beal

Anthony Beal's publishing credits include frequent contributions to The EroticWoman.com as well as to all three volumes of the Dark Dreams horror anthology series edited by award-winning horror novelist Brandon Massey, the Chocolate Flava 2: Succulent anthology edited by New York Times best-selling author Zane, Las Vegas-themed erotica anthology Sin City, and the bisexual threesome erotica anthology Some Like It Bi, both edited by The Dark Duet Trilogy author Jennifer Roberts.
Anthony's other interests include drinking, graphic novels, Japanese language and culture, cooking, poetry by Paul Lawrence Dunbar, and fiction by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Charles Bukowski. His writing influences include E.A. Poe, Anais Nin, and Henry Miller.
Anthony's debut novel-length work titled The Escapists: An Erotic Fantasy Novel, has garnered multiple 5-star reviews and continues to earn praise.

Amazon Blog Twitter

Safe-Words and Some Other Alphabet Soup

After reading some posts on an author message board I thought it might be a good idea to expound on my thoughts regarding safe-words and consent within my work. I'll begin with the often discussed, convoluted, misinterpreted and overused concept of the safe-word.


The BDSM Lifestyle is not a one-size-fits all lifestyle. Terms and protocols within the lifestyle vary from couple to couple (or person to person for those in the seeking stage) and what a term means to one person may mean something entirely different to someone else.

Sort of like the words "love" or “romance”—What I mean when I say these words could be on the opposite end of the spectrum from what you, he or they mean.

~SAFETY POLICE~

I'll begin with safe-words—super pet peeve of mine—since there seems to be the occasional (too often) misunderstanding when it comes to their use. My favorite misconstrued concept is: Because of safe-words the submissive/slave is really the one  in control.

As a submissive or slave do you want to really be the one in control? Do you want to just manipulate things and make the dominant your puppet? Then maybe you're kinky, but you aren't submissive. It's fine to be kinky, there's no shame in it—but call it what it is. Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with the one (s) you are involved with.


The purpose safe-words serve is as an alternate form of communication. The most common words used are Red-Yellow-Green (their meaning is obvious) and are not words that would come up in scene unless to serve their purpose. I've read of some who have very specific words (like a maiden name for instance.) 

But what are they? What aren't they?

~What Safe-Words Are~
They are a signal to the dominant that the play is maybe nearing a point that is close to the non-dominant partner's threshold for pain or suddenly past that threshold (this could be psychological/physical/sexual/emotional.) This is where the dominant is supposed to STOP and ASSESS the situation. 

In the case of a submissive (in my definition one who consents per activity) the submissive could decide if they wanted, were able, to continue with the activity at hand and their partner should comply with these wishes.


If this is a situation with a slave (in my definition, one who consents one time only and is owned, property or similar) the Master would/should stop to assess things,just as the dominant should. The difference comes with the decision of continuing or not. The Master, has the right (within the context of their dynamic) to continue if there is NO HARM being done. If the slave is merely uncomfortable or in pain, the Master can opt to continue—no harm, no foul. If the Master enjoys inflicting intense pain and relishes the sight of his slave in tears, and KNOWS that she/he is not being harmed, he may continue if it pleases him.

Safe-words can be useful at times, but what about when the endorphin rush, or sub-space is so deep the submissive/slave cannot communicate verbally? This can and does happen.

In these situations a safe-word/sign (non-verbal cue) can be useless. This is where trust and knowledge of the slave/submissive's capability is paramount. If the slave is transparent (100% open to the Master) the Master will be able to judge the situation. If the slave had a hard day, is ill, has emotional triggers etc. and communicates these things, he/she is giving the Master what he needs to TRUST the slave and in turn, the slave can trust the Master to do what is most beneficial. 

In this way, the control remains in the dominant partner's hands. If things cease, it is the Master's choice and not because the slave told him to stop. Over time, this will build more trust (and if done wrong, can destroy trust!) It's important to consider who one chooses to submit to, and to be assured that trust is warranted to begin with. 

Safe-words are a necessity if you are Topping/bottoming (more casual play) since you may not know your partner as well. In these situations (I'm speaking of play parties/clubs) references about someone's history and standing within the community can go a long way.

In the smallest sense, they can be something in a scenario when the non-dominant partner is struggling and wants to beg, "Stop-Don't" the dominant will know that it's part of the play and won't stop on a dime. 

~What Are Safe-words NOT?~
Safe-words are NOT a way for the submissive/slave type to manipulate the dominant. Choose to control or choose to submit-be honest!

Safe-words are NOT to stop something simply because it isn't enjoyable to the submissive/slave 
*Unless this is something discussed between the submissive/Dominant while entering into the arrangement (usually bedroom submission only.)

Safe-words are NOT a replacement for actually communicating. Sometimes saying, "Master, I can't take it." can work just as well.

Safe-words are NOT shameful to use, but should be used sparingly (don't become the Slave/Sub-Who-Cried-Wolf.) Use them when necessary (to communicate actual distress.)The dominant/Master should trust your communication is sincere and valid.

Safe-words are NOT used by everyone or NECESSARY. 
*People seem to know about SSC (Safe-Sane-Consensual) but there is also RACK (Risk-Aware-Consensual-Kink). There are couples who have such a tight relationship that the protocol of using some random word is just not needed.

I will mostly be writing about Masters/slaves, although there are some of the submissive/Dominant type that will appear (See references to Derrick and Lucy in my first novella.) Most of my relationships will not use safe-words (or will ultimately reach the state where they're unneeded.)

If one of my characters is a slave, consent for everything will be automatic after the initial consent is given.There will be the option to disobey, followed by the Master's option to release the slave from the relationship for disobedience.

But, I'll save CONSENT for another post.

Quick note: Not all submissives are slaves; not all slaves are even submissive (but most times.) Dominants are not necessarily Masters but most Masters are dominant. (An interesting aside--not all Master/Dominants are sadists, some are even masochists AND submissive is not synonomous with masochist.)

~B.B.